I was trying to decide what to blog about today because I am trying to write a little every day. I thought about politics and controversies. At some point I will blog about the latest priest abuse scandal in the Catholic Church in Philadelphia but I am not ready for that yet. I think because I am not sure how I feel and the feelings I do have are so raw. Besides that I am tired of stress this week. I need to write something light-hearted and fun.
This week was Valentine's Day. We don't celebrate it - that is my husband and I don't. We did when we were dating. Well. let's face it - men are a lot more romantic when they are dating. It's seems like the wedding band cuts off the circulation to that part of their brain. When my husband and I were dating, he would bring me flowers at odd times. He took care of me when I was sick. He would plan a surprise date once a year at least where I didn't know where he was taking me. I loved it. First came marriage and then kids - responsibilities, bills, and everything gets in the way. Lately it seems as though we are two ships passing in the night. He is so busy with work and God Bless the man, he works two jobs and I am so busy running the house and taking care of the kids that we just barely see each other. When we do, we are in a rush to tell each other everything all at once, less we forget and have to wait days before we see one another again. It hasn't dampened anything. I love him as much today as I did when we were fifteen, in fact, I love him more every day. Still, romance is dead - gone - kaput- finished - missing. I am thinking of putting up fliers with a 1-800 number on them. Maybe someone can help me find it.
Anyway, we don't celebrate Valentine's Day and by we - I mean him. Not that I expect anything mind you. I made him a card. I waxed poetic on FB. I made him brownies. He came home from work exhausted and not feeling well. He went to bed. That was that. LOL Believe me, it is not a big deal for me. We say we love you in so many ways each and every day but still it is nice to be thought of, once in a while, even a note here or there. So I celebrated with the kiddos. I made them brownies (with corn starch topping as an extra bonus - oops meant to put powdered sugar and grabbed the wrong box!) I gave them candy and a present or two. I made them cards. They were excited. They thanked me. They went on their merry way. Sheesh not even a drawn heart for mom LOL.
So I asked my son about his valentine - a little girl in his grade that he thinks is beautiful. He's seven by the way. He said,
"Mom, she's not my girlfriend. We're not there yet but I'm working on it!" Ha ha ha ha. Well at least romance is alive and well in first grade.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
So Beiber Fever....
Okay I just read an article on the fans of Justin Bieber. Apparently, when he lost the Grammy the other night, his fans went a little wild wishing that the star who did win would "crawl in a hole and die." The problem is that not only were they disrespectful of human life enough that they would say something so awful but they wrote it down on wiki. on the page of the singer who actually was deemed musically talented enough to win the Grammy.
I do not follow Justin Bieber and thank heavens, neither of my children do either. I only thank heavens because I have to listen to whatever they are into and for the moment, I enjoy their musical tastes, for the most part. I do love that my daughter does not follow trends and tends to walk her own unique way no matter what the trend might be. For a twelve year old to do that, says a lot about her character and how truly strong of an individual she is.
That being said, people were being extremely harsh on the "Beliebers." Again I saw comments made about how completely stupid our children are and how their education is falling behind and thus they have bought into Bieber mania. I saw comments from people who claim the music industry used to be "family" oriented and now it is run for teens. I have to disagree with this.
I was not around when Elvis Presley and Buddy Holly and the like brought rock 'n roll to the forefront of America but I know those who were. The parents of that generation, my grandparents, did not approve of Elvis. It was the teens that saw him and swooned. American Bandstand was built around teenagers. Rock has always been geared to their tastes. This is nothing new. For people of my generation it would have been boy bands that were all the rage. The generation before me had disco fever. It's been the same decade after decade.
Unfortunately for most of them, the pop stars burn out very quickly. Do you actually think that Bieber has the staying power of Elvis? Yeah, that's not going to happen. I was thinking back to when my daughter was younger. Hillary Duff was on tv in Lizzie Maguire and my daughter loved that show. Hillary Duff is now writing books. Frankie Muniz was the actor of the day - he was nearly arrested two days ago. She grew up from them to watching Miley Cyrus (who I still have faith that she might actually pull her life together before jumping fully into the Lohan Spiral.) She outgrew her as well. She listens to a little bit of everything now. Like her mom, she likes pop, punk, metal, oldies and rock. There's nothing wrong with being eclectic.
Would I say that Bieber fans were a little bit of an emotional roller coaster? Hell yes but then they are kids ranging from four to their late teens. They are, as a whole, an emotionally volatile group. Their parents are very defensive as well. I actually had a good friend stop speaking to me recently because I expressed an opinion that threatening to stop using twitter was not an effective way to raise money for charity. They are much better ways to go about it. She was offended because her daughter is a Bieber fan. I was not insulting the girl, I was commenting on the egos of the celebrities. Its been three months or so and I have not heard one word from her after speaking to her several times a day online for over seven years. Obviously she is not the person I thought she was.
Maybe I don't understand. I have never liked a celebrity to the extent that these girls love him. My daughter has not been that crazy over anyone either. She likes certain people but I have yet to see her go out of her way to fall all over a celebrity. She is a huge Harry Potter fan: movies, books and musicals. That is about as close as I have seen her get to obsession. I realize that though celebrities might look pretty, act well or sing melodiously, they are, in fact, just people. I admire talent but I am not going to fawn all over someone because they are making obscene amounts of money in Hollywood. You have to do more to gain my admiration. Are there celebrities that I would want to meet? Sure. There are male Hollywood stars that I find attractive and talented. There are females that I find talented or funny and some that are beautiful. In order for them to impress me they have to be humanitarians and charitable and decent spouses and parents. They have to do something with their money that benefits more than just themselves. They have to be creative. I love Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. I admire their talents and their strength of character. I love Jim Henson (may he rest in peace) for his wonderfully creative mind. I loved Charles Schultz because Charlie Brown is a personal favorite. Mark Twain, Jane Austen and Nora Roberts are my favorite writers. FDR my favorite president. I love reading about Bobby Kennedy. Ellen DeGeneres makes me laugh and I admire her courage. These are people I would like to meet but I do not obsess over them. Johnny Depp is extremely attractive but I would not go out of my way to meet the guy. Why? They are human. Nothing about them makes them better then me. It is all a twist of fate - who had talent; who knew people; who was blessed with a pretty face or a nice voice; who has a great sense of humor; and even who was in the right place at the right time. I would not trade lives with them because I love my life.
Rock on Bieber fans. Enjoy the ride. You are having fun and that is all that matters. Just remember to be respectful while doing it and be yourselves. It will come to an end and you will look back and wonder why he mattered. Your music will change. Your "anthems" will change and you will grow older. The difference will be, your stars will just be rising while his will be making the come back tour.
One more thing, Justin, when your star burns out - could it take Lady Gaga down with it? Thanks.
I do not follow Justin Bieber and thank heavens, neither of my children do either. I only thank heavens because I have to listen to whatever they are into and for the moment, I enjoy their musical tastes, for the most part. I do love that my daughter does not follow trends and tends to walk her own unique way no matter what the trend might be. For a twelve year old to do that, says a lot about her character and how truly strong of an individual she is.
That being said, people were being extremely harsh on the "Beliebers." Again I saw comments made about how completely stupid our children are and how their education is falling behind and thus they have bought into Bieber mania. I saw comments from people who claim the music industry used to be "family" oriented and now it is run for teens. I have to disagree with this.
I was not around when Elvis Presley and Buddy Holly and the like brought rock 'n roll to the forefront of America but I know those who were. The parents of that generation, my grandparents, did not approve of Elvis. It was the teens that saw him and swooned. American Bandstand was built around teenagers. Rock has always been geared to their tastes. This is nothing new. For people of my generation it would have been boy bands that were all the rage. The generation before me had disco fever. It's been the same decade after decade.
Unfortunately for most of them, the pop stars burn out very quickly. Do you actually think that Bieber has the staying power of Elvis? Yeah, that's not going to happen. I was thinking back to when my daughter was younger. Hillary Duff was on tv in Lizzie Maguire and my daughter loved that show. Hillary Duff is now writing books. Frankie Muniz was the actor of the day - he was nearly arrested two days ago. She grew up from them to watching Miley Cyrus (who I still have faith that she might actually pull her life together before jumping fully into the Lohan Spiral.) She outgrew her as well. She listens to a little bit of everything now. Like her mom, she likes pop, punk, metal, oldies and rock. There's nothing wrong with being eclectic.
Would I say that Bieber fans were a little bit of an emotional roller coaster? Hell yes but then they are kids ranging from four to their late teens. They are, as a whole, an emotionally volatile group. Their parents are very defensive as well. I actually had a good friend stop speaking to me recently because I expressed an opinion that threatening to stop using twitter was not an effective way to raise money for charity. They are much better ways to go about it. She was offended because her daughter is a Bieber fan. I was not insulting the girl, I was commenting on the egos of the celebrities. Its been three months or so and I have not heard one word from her after speaking to her several times a day online for over seven years. Obviously she is not the person I thought she was.
Maybe I don't understand. I have never liked a celebrity to the extent that these girls love him. My daughter has not been that crazy over anyone either. She likes certain people but I have yet to see her go out of her way to fall all over a celebrity. She is a huge Harry Potter fan: movies, books and musicals. That is about as close as I have seen her get to obsession. I realize that though celebrities might look pretty, act well or sing melodiously, they are, in fact, just people. I admire talent but I am not going to fawn all over someone because they are making obscene amounts of money in Hollywood. You have to do more to gain my admiration. Are there celebrities that I would want to meet? Sure. There are male Hollywood stars that I find attractive and talented. There are females that I find talented or funny and some that are beautiful. In order for them to impress me they have to be humanitarians and charitable and decent spouses and parents. They have to do something with their money that benefits more than just themselves. They have to be creative. I love Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. I admire their talents and their strength of character. I love Jim Henson (may he rest in peace) for his wonderfully creative mind. I loved Charles Schultz because Charlie Brown is a personal favorite. Mark Twain, Jane Austen and Nora Roberts are my favorite writers. FDR my favorite president. I love reading about Bobby Kennedy. Ellen DeGeneres makes me laugh and I admire her courage. These are people I would like to meet but I do not obsess over them. Johnny Depp is extremely attractive but I would not go out of my way to meet the guy. Why? They are human. Nothing about them makes them better then me. It is all a twist of fate - who had talent; who knew people; who was blessed with a pretty face or a nice voice; who has a great sense of humor; and even who was in the right place at the right time. I would not trade lives with them because I love my life.
Rock on Bieber fans. Enjoy the ride. You are having fun and that is all that matters. Just remember to be respectful while doing it and be yourselves. It will come to an end and you will look back and wonder why he mattered. Your music will change. Your "anthems" will change and you will grow older. The difference will be, your stars will just be rising while his will be making the come back tour.
One more thing, Justin, when your star burns out - could it take Lady Gaga down with it? Thanks.
Sadness
Today I am not going to write about anything controversial but rather post about something near and dear to my heart. Two days ago our family lost a beautiful young woman. I wish I knew why we lost her. She was only 27 and a cousin to my husband. Her life had not always led her down the right path but motherhood did. She was raising a beautiful and precocious four-year-old daughter. I don't have any details yet on how she passed away so young. I saw her about a year ago in a book store. We exchanged e-mail addresses and she promised to get on FB so that we could stay in touch more. Life got in the way and we never managed to contact one another. I really did care about her and for whatever reason, though we met just a few times, we had developed a bond. I will miss her so much.
The moral of the story is: don't wait. Keep in touch with people. You never know when life is going to take them away from you. RIP dear one; you will be missed.
The moral of the story is: don't wait. Keep in touch with people. You never know when life is going to take them away from you. RIP dear one; you will be missed.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The United States Educational System
I'm tired of hearing that the US Educational System is a failure. President Obama says it all the time. My question to him is if the American educational system is a failure then in theory it failed you. If it did fail you, then why are you fit to run my country? I should not vote for someone who believes himself a failure. That does not instill confidence in you or your administration, who I assume are also graduates of the American educational system. and therefore, in your opinion, also failures.
Now I will not say that our education system is perfect, far from it. However, spending more hours in school is not going to help the children. What it will do is make it more convenient for working parents. School is not meant to be a babysitter. If we are currently not reaching our students in 8 hours a day what makes you think we will have a better chance of reaching them in ten or eleven hours? If we cannot reach them during the school year, what makes you think that we will reach them during the summer months when the heat is oppressive and every child longs to be outside enjoying the fresh air? If they cannot concentrate because they are hungry, or being bullied, or suffering from boredom - more exposure to these problems is not going to help. The problem is that we are not reaching them, pure and simple. 1.2 million kids drop out of high school every year. Most 8th graders graduate at a reading level 2 years behind where they should be.
Our methods of teaching are archaic. We assume that most people learn through rote memorization, sitting in desks, not getting respected by the teachers who are frustrated with their jobs because no one wants to learn. The fact is, most people do not learn through rote memorization. Manipulatives and hands on experiences are much more effective learning tools. We cut every program we can because education is too expensive. Without the programs, the education is not well-rounded. If you think of how you studied when you were a child or a teenager, were you sitting at a desk or laying on your bed? Was everything quiet or did you have music playing? Things like this matter though you think they might not. When you work, you are more productive when you have mementos of yourself around you. Workers sit in comfortable chairs. They sit in temperature regulated rooms. What do we do to our kids? We sit them in over-heated classrooms, packed like sardines, with a harried teacher trying to get through to them, through the noise and the hormones, to teach them about things they could not possibly be interested in. You want to reach kids? Find out what they want to do and instruct them accordingly. Teach them important things like how to cook and balance a checkbook, how to invest and stay out of debt. Teach them reading by using sports or the entertainment industry - things they are interested in. Teach them history the same way and geography. Teach science by explaining how things work from car engines to video cameras. The principles or learning are all around you, if you just look hard enough. Math needs to have practical applications. You have to show them that they are going to use this information. Find their interests and gear your lessons according to that. Dick and Jane do not cut it anymore. These kids are not from the 50's. This is a modern world and we have to update accordingly.
To go along with this though, we have to realize that the dropout rate has something to do with the socio-economic status in the US. Did you know that people that dropout of school are more likely to commit crimes; that in the long run dropping out of high school can cost the US as much as $300 billion? It is a staggering statistic. So what to do? My guess would be teach people to parent because schools are not the only ones responsible. Fix the economy. Stop trying to fix the economy in other countries and fix America first because our children should be important to us. Yes, other countries need our help and we should help, eventually. First and foremost though, we need to take care of our kids. Arrest the drug dealers and make their sentences mandatory and long. I know that we don't have money for it and the prisons are over-crowded. They are over-crowded because our education system is failing our youth. This is a catch 22 and we have to break out of the cycle.
If we address these issues, the US won't be the 21st out of the top 30 countries in educational standards. The key is not to become like China. We don't want to be China. We don't want to take creativity and imagination out of our schools. We want to learn to work with our children in ways that matter to them.
Now I will not say that our education system is perfect, far from it. However, spending more hours in school is not going to help the children. What it will do is make it more convenient for working parents. School is not meant to be a babysitter. If we are currently not reaching our students in 8 hours a day what makes you think we will have a better chance of reaching them in ten or eleven hours? If we cannot reach them during the school year, what makes you think that we will reach them during the summer months when the heat is oppressive and every child longs to be outside enjoying the fresh air? If they cannot concentrate because they are hungry, or being bullied, or suffering from boredom - more exposure to these problems is not going to help. The problem is that we are not reaching them, pure and simple. 1.2 million kids drop out of high school every year. Most 8th graders graduate at a reading level 2 years behind where they should be.
Our methods of teaching are archaic. We assume that most people learn through rote memorization, sitting in desks, not getting respected by the teachers who are frustrated with their jobs because no one wants to learn. The fact is, most people do not learn through rote memorization. Manipulatives and hands on experiences are much more effective learning tools. We cut every program we can because education is too expensive. Without the programs, the education is not well-rounded. If you think of how you studied when you were a child or a teenager, were you sitting at a desk or laying on your bed? Was everything quiet or did you have music playing? Things like this matter though you think they might not. When you work, you are more productive when you have mementos of yourself around you. Workers sit in comfortable chairs. They sit in temperature regulated rooms. What do we do to our kids? We sit them in over-heated classrooms, packed like sardines, with a harried teacher trying to get through to them, through the noise and the hormones, to teach them about things they could not possibly be interested in. You want to reach kids? Find out what they want to do and instruct them accordingly. Teach them important things like how to cook and balance a checkbook, how to invest and stay out of debt. Teach them reading by using sports or the entertainment industry - things they are interested in. Teach them history the same way and geography. Teach science by explaining how things work from car engines to video cameras. The principles or learning are all around you, if you just look hard enough. Math needs to have practical applications. You have to show them that they are going to use this information. Find their interests and gear your lessons according to that. Dick and Jane do not cut it anymore. These kids are not from the 50's. This is a modern world and we have to update accordingly.
To go along with this though, we have to realize that the dropout rate has something to do with the socio-economic status in the US. Did you know that people that dropout of school are more likely to commit crimes; that in the long run dropping out of high school can cost the US as much as $300 billion? It is a staggering statistic. So what to do? My guess would be teach people to parent because schools are not the only ones responsible. Fix the economy. Stop trying to fix the economy in other countries and fix America first because our children should be important to us. Yes, other countries need our help and we should help, eventually. First and foremost though, we need to take care of our kids. Arrest the drug dealers and make their sentences mandatory and long. I know that we don't have money for it and the prisons are over-crowded. They are over-crowded because our education system is failing our youth. This is a catch 22 and we have to break out of the cycle.
If we address these issues, the US won't be the 21st out of the top 30 countries in educational standards. The key is not to become like China. We don't want to be China. We don't want to take creativity and imagination out of our schools. We want to learn to work with our children in ways that matter to them.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Why I am Anti-Tiger Mom
You might wonder why I find everything that Tiger Mom stands for so irritating. One of the main reasons that I dislike her is because she feels that the way Chinese women raise their children is better than the way US mothers are raising their children. Grant it, it is her opinion, the same way this blog is about mine. One thing American mothers are known for are protecting their babies. It is why I picked Grizzlybearmomma. No animal is quite as ferocious when it comes to protecting her babies as the grizzly bear, but I digress.
Tiger Mom states: that only A's are acceptable; that instruments must be practiced for three hours every night; that failure is not an option; that you do not spare your children's feelings; and that art and gym are not important. This last makes me wonder why China then felt the need to fake the ages of their gymnasts in the Olympics just to get their best players in there even though they were too young to compete. Basically what they have succeeding in doing is making a nation full of neurotics. Near 300,000 people in China commit suicide every year, most as a result of stress and depression. Compare the number in China to near 30,000 in the US. Most of the suicides in China are from women or college age students. They are launching a study to figure out why the college age students are committing suicide at such an alarming rate. Gee, I can't imagine.
Now I am not saying that Tiger Mom is all wrong. Don't let me lead you to believe that in the house where I grew up or where I am raising my children, that failure is an option. My children are straight A students. If one does occasionally fail a test, I know it is because they did not understand the concept. Were it because they were being lazy, then yes, they would be in trouble. However, it is possible to not understand something or to not grasp it. That is understandable and you work to attain the knowledge that you missed without the strain of paternal alienation. I also believe that kids should be kids. I let them play and encourage creativity in every way possible. I think most American Moms do. I do not think this is mollycoddling our children. I think it is developing well rounded individuals. I read that Tiger Mom also does not believe that BA's are an acceptable degree. Well lady, guess what? Without that BA there would be no one to educate your children. A degree in education is a BA.
My question for Tiger Mom is why do you live in the US? If you are not happy with the way US people live, care for and educate their children, why do you live in a cozy house in New Haven,CT and profit from the American way of life?
Tiger Mom states: that only A's are acceptable; that instruments must be practiced for three hours every night; that failure is not an option; that you do not spare your children's feelings; and that art and gym are not important. This last makes me wonder why China then felt the need to fake the ages of their gymnasts in the Olympics just to get their best players in there even though they were too young to compete. Basically what they have succeeding in doing is making a nation full of neurotics. Near 300,000 people in China commit suicide every year, most as a result of stress and depression. Compare the number in China to near 30,000 in the US. Most of the suicides in China are from women or college age students. They are launching a study to figure out why the college age students are committing suicide at such an alarming rate. Gee, I can't imagine.
Now I am not saying that Tiger Mom is all wrong. Don't let me lead you to believe that in the house where I grew up or where I am raising my children, that failure is an option. My children are straight A students. If one does occasionally fail a test, I know it is because they did not understand the concept. Were it because they were being lazy, then yes, they would be in trouble. However, it is possible to not understand something or to not grasp it. That is understandable and you work to attain the knowledge that you missed without the strain of paternal alienation. I also believe that kids should be kids. I let them play and encourage creativity in every way possible. I think most American Moms do. I do not think this is mollycoddling our children. I think it is developing well rounded individuals. I read that Tiger Mom also does not believe that BA's are an acceptable degree. Well lady, guess what? Without that BA there would be no one to educate your children. A degree in education is a BA.
My question for Tiger Mom is why do you live in the US? If you are not happy with the way US people live, care for and educate their children, why do you live in a cozy house in New Haven,CT and profit from the American way of life?
Friday, February 11, 2011
I am an American Mom
Because of the recent popularity of a certain woman who hails from China and blogged about the way her children are raised, how she was raised and why that is the best manner of raising our children, I felt compelled to start my own blog. Call me the Anti-Tiger Mom if you will. The truth is that I cannot stand her, or everything she represents. I know there are those of you who follow her and think that she is the end all, be all of motherly wisdom. I don't take issue with you or your opinions. The beauty of living in this great country (that she is making money off of mind you) is that, I can say what I want to as well. I am guaranteed that right by the First Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion; or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech; or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble; and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
So what can I tell you about myself? I was born and raised in this wonderful country. I attended school here. I have a college degree. I am intelligent. I am creative. I am a free-thinker. I am independent. I had a career. I was an educator. I gave it up to become a mother, a role that I find to be the best one in life. I am attempting to begin a second career as a writer. I can read music. I can play an instrument (though I will never be a concert pianist). I have two wonderful children who are bright, creative, loving individuals. I am married to a wonderfully intelligent, caring, hard-working, successful, right-brained man. This is the amazing part. Are you ready? With all of this success, there is not one drop of Chinese heritage in us. Amazing isn't it? Who would have thought you could succeed in life and not have a "Tiger Mom"?
This blog will endeavor to do many things. It might amuse you. It might entertain you. It will definitely at some point make you angry. I promise that you will disagree with me, most likely vehemently disagree with something that I post. However, I hope that you will keep reading. I do not promise that I am always going to be right; these are just my opinions after all. I promise to continue to learn, to evolve and to grow. If one person stops to think about something I have written, then I have accomplished something.
Have a great day and keep reading!
So what can I tell you about myself? I was born and raised in this wonderful country. I attended school here. I have a college degree. I am intelligent. I am creative. I am a free-thinker. I am independent. I had a career. I was an educator. I gave it up to become a mother, a role that I find to be the best one in life. I am attempting to begin a second career as a writer. I can read music. I can play an instrument (though I will never be a concert pianist). I have two wonderful children who are bright, creative, loving individuals. I am married to a wonderfully intelligent, caring, hard-working, successful, right-brained man. This is the amazing part. Are you ready? With all of this success, there is not one drop of Chinese heritage in us. Amazing isn't it? Who would have thought you could succeed in life and not have a "Tiger Mom"?
This blog will endeavor to do many things. It might amuse you. It might entertain you. It will definitely at some point make you angry. I promise that you will disagree with me, most likely vehemently disagree with something that I post. However, I hope that you will keep reading. I do not promise that I am always going to be right; these are just my opinions after all. I promise to continue to learn, to evolve and to grow. If one person stops to think about something I have written, then I have accomplished something.
Have a great day and keep reading!
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